I finally decided to see this movie after a lot of my friends advised me to, since “it will make you cry” was the phrase most of them were telling me. And I’ve got to admit, I do not cry easily while watching movies because I always think that there are actors, not real people, even though the plot might be very dramatic.
So here I am, looking at this movie, I knew already the plot was about a Danish man (Einar Wegener) known as the first person to have undergone sex change surgery, and this sounded interesting for me since the transgender issue is a very heated theme nowadays and I was curious about the feelings and the insecurities this man went through.
Briefly, I want to introduce to you the two protagonists, the Danish painter Einar Wegener and his wife Gerda, also a painter. Apparently their life together is full of love and they look to be a perfect match, since they share the passion for the art of painting and they have lots of things in common, even their behavior is similar, so much that I thought, at the beginning, they were brother and sister.
You might think the transgender issue is central in the movie, but I do not see it like that. What I have seen is a story of love beyond the limits, and I’m talking about Gerda, because let’s be honest, how many of you would keep living and actually, loving, your husband after he changes his life completely and keeps telling you that he can’t love you anymore?
Gerda keeps loving her husband even after his transition, she literally sacrifices herself for making him happy and when she has the possibility to leave him and to start a new life with another man, she gives up on it and keeps supporting her (ex) husband.
Actually I must say that I find her the real protagonist of the movie. She is such a complex character that is difficult to understand all her feelings, I guess she is even more complex than her husband Einar, since he is very sure about what he wants to achieve: to become a woman, and he doesn’t think twice once he finds out how his dreams can be reached.
But Gerta, she is such an interesting woman, I am totally convinced that she wasn’t completely unconscious of her husband’s unusual behavior, actually I think that in a way she wanted to push him to the limit, to turn a simple curiosity into concreteness. She was able to understand that he was interested in women’s clothes and attitudes, and when she had the occasion to show him how it feels to be a real woman, she dressed him up and took him to a party presenting him as “Lili”.
All of this wasn’t just a “game” as Gerta deceived herself to believe, it wasn’t just a moment of fun between a couple, this was Gerta’s hidden curiosity: she wanted to see how Einar would look as a woman.
And that’s why I say that this is a story of love beyond the limits, because she really loved his feminine personality and as a consequence, she just couldn’t leave him alone. Even though in a part of the movie she told him: “I want my husband back”, she still liked both parts of him, the woman Lili and the man Einar.
Actually the transition concerns both of them, but in a different way. While Einar is totally sure about what he feels being his gender, Gerta is not able to give an explanation to her “strange” curiosities. Actually, time by time, she understands that she has lost her husband’s love forever, because while she still loves him, Einar is concentrated on being happy with his new body and life, and this doesn’t concerns anymore to have a wife and to love a woman.
I really hated in some parts of the movie how Einar behaved with Gerta, it was like if he didn’t care of her feelings, being so focused on himself, as if they had never married and the changing wouldn’t have involved also Gerta. He was just determinate to go on, to become a woman and to finally feel free but without taking in consideration the difficulties he created around her. In my opinion he has never really realized how lucky he was to have someone like Gerta next to him, always ready to help and encourage his decisions; it seems that for him it was natural that they were still living in the same house, but this time, as friends.
So now I will tell you the truth: I cried! Oh God, how much I cried! I was desperate at the end of the movie, my heart has been literally broken on the last scene (that I’m not gonna spoiler you).
After all the struggle of both characters, you end up supporting them and feeling like a character of the story yourself: you can be closer to Gerta or to Einar, there’s no difference, in the end you will suffer like them. This was in my consideration the talent of the actors: to live the drama they were telling us, so that you could perceive all emotions as real.
So guys, I really want to suggest you to watch this movie because I’m sure you will be surprised of how close you can feel to a situation that maybe has never touched you.
In the end, I have a hope, that this movie, describing experiences and life events in such a natural way, may help some “minds” to reduce their limits and the meaningless classification between what is natural and what is against nature.
Elena Nogarole, Italy